Being Adopted as Daddy by a Sex Worker

Some days are just unique enough to stand out for a lifetime. This may well be one of those days.

There are several reasons for this, first because I was blessed to help another ministry as they are launching in Chiang Mai. That ministry provides housing for girls who are working to come out of the sex work in the bars. They give them a place to live, in a home, and cover the expenses for them to go to school. The goal is to provide a better way to support themselves and family through education rather than sex work. I was introduced to a few girls who are sex workers and trying to get out…they are also, in this case, new believers.

Yes, you read that right…they are in the unique position of having to work in the bars to earn a living and yet they have given their hearts to Jesus. It took a few minutes to let that sink in as I contemplate how much internal conflict that brings up for me…not from a judgmental standpoint because I don’t judge these girls at all…I hate that they have to work doing sex work….I LOATHE IT! And now to think of these precious daughters of God primping themselves tonight and being paraded across a group of men who will use them as sex toys…well….let’s just say I have an extremely hard time with this….so working to get them into a safe, secure, and loving environment in which they can go to school, improve their lives, AND worship Jesus….Yep, I’m on board.

And I was blessed with a new daughter today…her name is “Blue” and before anyone starts sending notes of congratulations to my wife, she doesn’t exactly know yet. As I type this it is 4:00 a.m. at home and we haven’t talked…but Blue has had a most difficult life. She was sold at 4 years of age…by the time she was 12 she was already working in the bars…and by 15 she had her first child…she has never had any formal education but she is sharp as a knife and has taught herself English well enough to hire out as a translator. At 27 years of age, she has gone through more than her fair share of trauma and abuse. And I was blessed to be able to spend half the day with her…and I was able to do so while almost entirely in the company of my own daughter. Typically my daughter would not have been with me but we had an appointment that she needed to be at late in the afternoon so it made sense to take her with me as I headed out…little did I realize at the time how much of a blessing that would be. As Blue and I were able to talk of many things, Blue would occasionally shoot some questions toward my daughter…about her life…and then she would turn back toward me. And while the goal was to hear her life story and see if there would be a fit for coming into this ministry house…instead I was blown away when Blue asked if she could call me Daddy. There was no thinking about this…there was only the immediate response, “of course!” Later in the day, when Blue, and my daughter, and I all headed out toward this appointment (Blue went as interpreter) Blue continued with some incredible questions…she first asked if she could ask a very personal question…”of course” I replied, wondering what this young woman of 27, who had been through such hell would ask. She then turned towards me and said, all the time she sees men come in and look at all the ladies in the bar…they are looking for sex. They have wives, they have girlfriends along with their wives, and still they come to the bar for more. She asked if I looked at this women and wanted sex.

Now I feel I must give you a moment dear reader to fully comprehend this situation. We are sitting in a restaurant at this moment. My biological daughter sitting to my left looking across the table at Blue, my newly “adopted” daughter sitting to my right who has just asked about my physical and mental marital fidelity. But that wasn’t the whole question she was asking. She was really asking…is there any male out there that I can trust, who will love me? Is it even possible for someone else and if so, then is it possible for me? And right behind the question…loudly showing in her very deep, sad, hurt, brown eyes….will God be faithful?

Thank you Spirit for the words…and yes I was honest.

I told both of my daughters several things…first off, I love my wife…and there is a difference between looking at someone and seeing beauty and looking at someone and lusting. Because I love my wife with everything in my heart, there is no room for lusting for someone else. Has there ever been an attraction to someone else, yes there has and I’ve told that story many times and I told it again to the girls including the part of that goes “and as soon as I realized there was any attraction, I told my wife so that I left no room for an enemy to bring shame or create an environment for something to happen.” I told her that I believe that couples should have a good sex life as well and to express their love…that God loves sex and that I am faithful to my wife and also I would not do anything to put myself in the situation of temptation. I also told her that God is faithful to us and would not leave her for another.

Blue almost cried right then. She said, “I have always hoped there would be a man who would be able to love only his wife. Now I know it is possible.”

The story of Blue is just beginning I believe…we are still trying to work out if this house is a good fit or whether we need to find another option. She is still in a job that she hates but is falling deeper in love with Jesus day by day. How to help her go to school and still support herself and her daughter is a question we still need to answer but for now…I am so thankful to God today for letting me be a daddy who points to our Heavenly Daddy. I am also thankful that my own daughter was given a glimpse of why it is so important that whomever her future husband is that he ascribe to the same belief in fidelity. All of the words she has heard me say over the years just took on an entirely different significance in the midst of Blue’s broken heart.

And lastly I ask you all to join me in praying for my newest daughter…may her Abba heal her heart and provide a path towards Himself! Amen.